Ask Yourself, "Why?"

One word has had the single most powerful influence over the past three years of my life. It’s the word, that is also the question, “Why?”

On Jan. 8th, I embarked on the Whole 30 diet. It’s like Paleo on steroids—no dairy, no grains, no added sugar. Basically meat and veggies all day every day. As the name suggests, the diet is supposed to last 30 days. I officially ended the diet on the 16th day, completing half the recommended time. Taking the time to ask myself why I was choosing to diet at all and choosing this particular diet helped me untangle the mess in my head. Imagine your thoughts/beliefs/opinions/perspectives are all like separate strings in a giant knot in your head. At some places in the knot they intertwine in what seems like healthy cohabitation, at other places they are wrapped furiously around each other in a tight bind, at other places the strings parallel each other along the same path for awhile. That’s how I envision my brain. If I want to follow the origin of a thought, I have to untangle it from all the other thought strings to understand how it’s influenced by all those other thought strings.

I wanted to quit the diet 2 days after I started it. One thing about me is that I hate feeling confined, trapped, stuck, limited in my options. Another thing about me is how much I enjoy—in the truest sense of the word—all food. Yet, I made a decision and I wanted to see it through. After two weeks had passed, I really began to consider quitting. I had already gained from it what I originally wanted (to prove to myself that I could change a low emotional state without sugar and cheese binging). I wasn’t gaining any physical benefits. And I was really unsettled with how much meat I had to eat to stay full between meals. However, quitting wasn’t so easy either. Entangled in all the reasons I wanted to quit were all the reasons I felt I needed to stay. Thought strings like: am I disciplined enough? I chronicled the diet on IG stories, what will people think? Am I truly not feeling physical benefits or am I subconsciously avoiding them to get back to my normal diet? What do I really think about eating meat? Is cooking a healthy hobby or do I use it as an escape? Why do I always feel guilty when I eat certain foods? Maybe it’s good to feel guilty when eating certain foods so we don’t overeat them? Did I secretly want to lose weight? Gosh, and so many more thought strings, each with their own path of entanglement in my brain.

In two weeks, I worked through a lot of it, and in the end, I decided to quit the regimen. If the diet wasn’t good for anything else, it was certainly incredible at forcing me to answer a lot of “why’s.” And now I’m just a little more clear. Now, my brain knot is a little less complicated. Just a little.

Why is this important? Because why we do ANYTHING is the driving force behind the direction our lives take. And don’t we all want a little more control over that direction? Ever since I answered some questions about yoga and teaching, I feel more grounded. I have received so much more amazing feedback, and a client even told me that I was more confident in my teaching during class. Answering “WHY” allows us to stand up for ourselves against other people’s opinions of us. Answering WHY keeps us on track toward our goals. Answering WHY helps define our goals. Answering WHY allows us to question things people have told us and we’ve just blindly believed. Answering WHY allows us to question our beliefs about ourselves that may be sabotaging.

The first question I ask new clients is, “Why are you here?”
They may answer with something like “I want to gain upper body strength,” or “I want help with my back pain.”
And then I ask, “Why?”
Their answers force them to go beyond the surface. Why do you want upper body strength? Is it because your wife told you she wanted you to? Is it because your grandkids make fun of you for getting older? Is it because you want to be able to move heavy boxes with more ease the next time you move? Is it because you read somewhere that it’s good for you? Why do you want help with back pain? That may seem obvious and no one wants to be in pain, but the answers tell me where to go next. A 70 year old client once told me he wants to get rid of his back pain to be able to sit through a concert with his wife without having to get up. I now know what’s important to him, and that his pain is impeding his outings with his wife and most likely affecting their relationship to some degree. I know that he’s in pain when he sits, and that he most likely won’t be embarking on a 5 day-a-week exercise regimen.

I never said this was easy. Asking why is actually a bitch. We spend decades avoiding the question because the answers are scary. And once you know the answer, you can’t ever go back. But that’s why it’s life changing.

Empower yourself. Ask, “Why?’

xoxo