On Accountability - Find Your Support System
People think, understandably, that because I’m a yoga teacher I meditate everyday. People think, also understandably, that because I’m a movement coach, I am self motivated to practice my movement goals everyday. Maybe it will make you feel better to know that these two things are not true. I do love to move, and I know meditation is a life changer, but when it comes to accomplishing a specific goal like meditating every morning or practicing my handstands, the number of times I’ve quit my progress is pretty high. This is normal. This is biological. We are not designed to persist through turbulence when we don’t have an urgent need. For example, if I’m dying of thirst, I will walk miles through a desert to find water. If I’m poor and starving with 3 kids to feed, I might rob a store to find food. If I’m single, I might put myself through all kinds of uncomfortable situations to find a partner, because these are all biological needs. Meditation or a handstand practice however are not biological imperatives to the survival of our species, so it’s going to take more than just the thought of doing it to actually do it. Andrew Huberman, a Stanford neuroscientist who studies behavior and the brain explains that changing behavior BEFORE changing thoughts is actually the gateway to creating lasting change. Ok, so how do we do that? Well accountability is just one of a few pieces of the puzzle, but the one I’m focusing on today. I know for me, it’s actually one of the most important pieces. I need a teacher, a coach, a friend who will take me seriously, someone whom I know is expecting something of me. Four years ago, I hired a personal trainer for the first time and working with her changed my life. It’s the reason I do what I do now because I would have never reached the physical strength and confidence in my ability to move my body without her. Having a standing appointment with her—one which I paid for in advance—whether I felt like showing up or not was enough to keep me going through the frustration and grit that is the required rite of passage to create growth and change, no matter what we’re doing.
I had dinner with a friend of mine last night, and we were talking about exactly this. ML is a doctor specializing in hormone therapy. She regular advises her patients to slow down and get adequate rest for them to get the maximum benefits from the hormone treatments. She advises them to sit down and just breathe for 5 minutes, three times a day. And they do it! Yet, she finds it super challenging to take her own advice, and I totally get it. We need someone to hold us accountable. I’m using her as my accountability partner this month. My goal is to take take three 5 minute meditation breaks everyday. She knows this, and I told her I’d report back to her in a week to tell her how I feel.
If you could choose one thing you wanted to do regularly this month, what would you do? Want to share it with me and have a weekly check in for accountability? Email me.
xoxo
keep moving